I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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