Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
