you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
