How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
