Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.

Fav 4 1466 1682
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.

Fav 14 3811 1057
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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(541): View more from Oregon

I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?

Fav 11 4156 1902
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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"

Fav 3 3740 1017
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(503): View more from Oregon

I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

Fav 1 1947 1344
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(307): View more from Wyoming

While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.

Fav 4 797 496
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(214): View more from Texas

Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.

Fav 3 241 269
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(425): View more from Washington

I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?

Fav 4 443 155
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