He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
