You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
