I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think people are normalizing furries
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
