i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
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Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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