I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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