I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he was CRYING into my vagina
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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