..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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