tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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