You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
