I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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