I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
