to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
