WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
