you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
