why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
