As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
