He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
