i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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