My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
