About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you remember whose house we're in?