just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.