I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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