Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour