Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.