Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

Letd wlk him

(714): View more from California

Lrtd walek hime

(714): View more from California

Lets wlk home,,,ther we go

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(714): Letd wlk him (714): Lrtd walek hime (714): Lets wlk home,,,ther we go http://tfl.nu/cege

Replies (32) Good night (5064) Bad night (801)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.

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(505): I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously. http://tfl.nu/fpp3

Replies (23) Good night (3106) Bad night (805)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.

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(248): Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up. http://tfl.nu/qfvl

Replies (16) Good night (907) Bad night (1763)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.

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(617): you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on. http://tfl.nu/kzav

Replies (4) Good night (1236) Bad night (4934)
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(661): View more from California

Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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(661): Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil http://tfl.nu/8mk8

Replies (10) Good night (1850) Bad night (1244)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar

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(614): I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar http://tfl.nu/g47h

Replies (7) Good night (1905) Bad night (1257)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.

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(505): Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower. http://tfl.nu/q0tv

Replies (6) Good night (925) Bad night (2573)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.

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(719): Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss. http://tfl.nu/q2y0

Replies (14) Good night (2153) Bad night (649)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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(570): No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am. http://tfl.nu/layb

Replies (6) Good night (1929) Bad night (617)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life

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(412): And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life http://tfl.nu/4nsr

Replies (6) Good night (926) Bad night (498)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus

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(774): I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus http://tfl.nu/kps3

Replies (3) Good night (546) Bad night (800)
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(+61): View more from Australia

No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.

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(+61): No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender. http://tfl.nu/14lt

Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (376)
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(530): View more from California

Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.

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(530): Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber. http://tfl.nu/lvwx

Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (595)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.

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(812): I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature. http://tfl.nu/jyq9

Replies (0) Good night (608) Bad night (259)
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(518): View more from New York

I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"

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(518): I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication" http://tfl.nu/6zyw

Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (188)

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