Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
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The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion