Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(207): View more from Maine

saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.

(513): View more from Ohio

I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(207): saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow. (513): I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single. http://tfl.nu/mtqr

Replies (4) Good night (758) Bad night (1206)
Favorite
(212): View more from New York

btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(212): btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up http://tfl.nu/jzw8

Replies (30) Good night (1238) Bad night (4986)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/lqnh

Replies (4) Good night (3069) Bad night (1064)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner. http://tfl.nu/5d6x

Replies (42) Good night (1112) Bad night (14993)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too? http://tfl.nu/j0i5

Replies (57) Good night (1337) Bad night (3921)
Favorite
(229): View more from Georgia

You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(229): You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru http://tfl.nu/iwra

Replies (10) Good night (4710) Bad night (1244)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now. http://tfl.nu/pagz

Replies (7) Good night (4243) Bad night (963)
Favorite
(562): View more from California

Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(562): Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night http://tfl.nu/t1ll

Replies (2) Good night (1594) Bad night (907)
Favorite
(760): View more from California

I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways? http://tfl.nu/qqdu

Replies (12) Good night (4644) Bad night (766)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF http://tfl.nu/zpe8

Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (462)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her. (1-610): That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs http://tfl.nu/zsmx

Replies (5) Good night (1873) Bad night (554)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful. http://tfl.nu/7o2z

Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (383)
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer http://tfl.nu/9id9

Replies (3) Good night (1003) Bad night (377)
Favorite
(408): View more from California

I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(408): I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms. http://tfl.nu/0beo

Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (684)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there. http://tfl.nu/yj1a

Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (185)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard