Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.

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  (516): Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network. http://tfl.nu/5cas
  Replies (35) Good night (3342) Bad night (890)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen

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  (256): There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen http://tfl.nu/2fvb
  Replies (6) Good night (3678) Bad night (537)
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  (530): View more from California

  i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something

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  (530): i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something http://tfl.nu/obfg
  Replies (29) Good night (1003) Bad night (6120)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?

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  (860): Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too? http://tfl.nu/bk9g
  Replies (3) Good night (3360) Bad night (696)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills

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  (617): everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills http://tfl.nu/tub1
  Replies (25) Good night (7003) Bad night (1777)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years

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  (609): It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years http://tfl.nu/cjjj
  Replies (27) Good night (8695) Bad night (1738)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?

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  (412): Why are there maracas in the dishwasher? http://tfl.nu/o2j7
  Replies (14) Good night (5347) Bad night (878)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.

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  (214): So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest. http://tfl.nu/6468
  Replies (9) Good night (1012) Bad night (2292)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE

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  (267): WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE http://tfl.nu/lgwx
  Replies (7) Good night (1052) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.

  (1-906): View more from Michigan

  Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.

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  (906): It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar. (1-906): Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill. http://tfl.nu/e2gb
  Replies (8) Good night (1570) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited

  (951): View more from California

  dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles

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  (951): omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited (951): dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles http://tfl.nu/4z6p
  Replies (7) Good night (1520) Bad night (710)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.

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  (506): Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals. http://tfl.nu/0nga
  Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."

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  (270): I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester." http://tfl.nu/tgsd
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Hahahah pickled

  (207): View more from Maine

  I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.

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  (207): She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect. (1-207): Hahahah pickled (207): I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water. http://tfl.nu/9g1y
  Replies (1) Good night (306) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.

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  (949): I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited. http://tfl.nu/5fzq
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (293)

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