big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
