Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!

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(205): View more from Alabama

I only kidnapped one of them. chill

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(210): View more from Texas

I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.

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(817): View more from Texas

He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

well in DOG beers, i've only had one

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(469): View more from Texas

I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex

(563): View more from Iowa

Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.

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(530): View more from California

Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.

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