I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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