What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
