i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
