That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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