I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think i have two assholes
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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