Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize