So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize