you traded sex for a burrito?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
