Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
