if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
