OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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