i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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