I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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