is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
