i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
