Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
