If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
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Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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