woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
wow bdsm is so cute
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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