I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
