Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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