She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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