if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize