i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
