it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
