Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
