so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
