One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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