Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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