im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
