And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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