So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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