Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
