So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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