her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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