David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
