my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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