He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
