Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
