I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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