come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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