The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
