I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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