It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
