She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
